


Baked Goods

by LaceKyoko1138



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, Recreational Drug Use, Teenagers, The Edibles Fic the Discord Server Asked For, The F Bomb is Dropped Once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 10:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20505824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaceKyoko1138/pseuds/LaceKyoko1138
Summary: Dimitri wants to enjoy Mercedes' baked goods, but Claude and Edelgard interrupt.





	Baked Goods

**Author's Note:**

> This popped up after a conversation in which I said "Dimitri likes edibles confirmed." Please enjoy the fic, and don't eat all the brownies in one sitting!

Dimitri liked to think that he was the definition of self-control. He was dedicated to his training, tried to hold the ‘boar prince’ persona back, as Felix like to put it, and he wanted to be the absolute picture of chivalry. But Dimitri did have one weakness, and that was for Mercedes’ special baking goods.

Dimitri had heard there were plants you could eat, non traditional plants that could be infused in food and drink for the experience of a lifetime. The plants could also be imbibed in other ways, such as smoking them, which was common among the people. Dimitri had never tried smoking it, but had known those who had, and personally didn’t like the smell, but turning the plants into edibles? Hell yes.

Mercedes was a master baker. Her sweets were absolutely divine. When Dimitri asked if she had a recipe that could use the plants he so desperately wanted to try, she said she could. He was beyond elated.

Of course, he knew it wasn’t exactly prudent for him to try it, especially as a prince, but he figured everyone had a weakness, and it wasn’t like he was going to brag about it. The Golden Deer were seen as the party-goers of the monastery, but Dimitri had always been curious about their ways. This was one way to try it.

He and Mercedes met by the dining hall before curfew. She handed him the goods and he thanked her and left. He immediately went straight to the nobles’ corridors.

Of course, he ran into Edelgard and Claude. Normally accompanied by their respective retainers, it was odd to see the two together. Dimitri felt a cold sweat envelop him. He didn’t want them to suspect a thing. But, why would they? No one had known about the goods, but the suspicious package he was carrying might have piqued their interest. The best thing to do was to greet them, as to not warrant suspicions, and then wish them a good night and leave.

But of course, plans never work. Claude’s eyes immediately saw the parcel and a wicked smirk lit up his face.

“Hey, Dimitri. Which lovely lady sent you her favor today?” he joked. He saw the pure ivory handkerchief the parcel was wrapped in.

Dimitri blushed. “It-it isn’t like that,” he tried to deflect. “Mercedes simply wanted me to try a new recipe.”

“A new recipe? That girl is always baking. I hear Ashe is helping her learn how to cook too. Baked goods and a fine meal? That girl will have it all,” Claude replied. “But doesn’t she usually have Annette try her sweets? They are best friends, right?”

Edelgard nodded. “How interesting she chose you as her test subject instead.” She had a shrewd look on her face.

“She just wanted a new opinion,” Dimitri insisted. “It’s really not more than that.”

“The way you’re sweating? Nah, there is definitely something going on. Let’s see the goods,” Claude claimed.

Dimitri found that he had no choice. Claude was much more intelligent than others gave him credit for, and Edelgard… Well, she was distrusting at best.

Dimitri indicated for them to follow him. They went to his quarters and he shut the door behind him. “Listen, as the heirs to our respective thrones, I ask for your discretion.”

“Oh? This should be good,” Claude laughed. Edelgard agreed.

Dimitri placed the parcel on his desk and unwrapped it. Inside was a dish filled with brownies.

“Brownies? Dimitri, what’s so special about this?” Edelgard asked. “They look normal.”

“Yes, but the ingredients used to create them aren’t. I talked to Dedue about this, but there are plants you can eat.”

“We’ve all eaten broccoli,” Claude jibed. “Among other vegetables.”

Dimitri shook his head. “This isn’t made with vegetables. This is something else entirely.”

“Stop with the suspense! I want to try one of these mystery brownies!” Claude reached out for one.

Dimitri swatted his hand. “Let me explain first.” He sighed. “These are made with a plant called cannabis. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

“Oh yes. It’s fairly common in the southern parts of the Adrestian Empire,” Edelgard explained. “But I know shipments are spread around the continent. However,” and she narrowed her eyes at Dimitri, “it isn’t legal to do so. How did Mercedes get her hands on this?”

“She...knows a merchant.” He wasn’t about to sell out Ignatz’s family, especially in front of Claude. Hell, Claude may have already known.

“Oh, well, that makes sense, but it still...” Edelgard shrugged. “Well, I suppose some rules are meant to be broken.”

“Okay, you indulged us in the explanation, but if you really want our discretion, we’ve got to at least try them with you.” Claude smiled. “I haven’t had the chance to try pot brownies, but I’ve definitely have...tried weed in its other forms.”

Dimitri grimaced. “If it means you won’t tell the professors, or worse yet, the archbishop,” and here Edelgard rolled her eyes, “then I suppose I must. Sharing is caring, correct?”

“It sure is! Tonight, we feast!” Claude exclaimed. Edelgard shushed him.

“Discretion, Claude. Remember it.” He just nodded.

Dimitri then handed each of them a brownie. “From what I understand, you eat half, wait a half hour, then eat the other. It’s to help sustain the high. Otherwise, you could get too high too fast, or something to that effect.”

“You sure know your stuff,” Claude said with a smirk. “Alright, let’s do it. Cheers!” He held up a brownie.

“Cheers!” The trio of royals broke their brownies in half and ate them.

Edelgard chewed thoughtfully. “They taste like normal brownies… Shouldn’t they be...different?”

Dimitri swallowed the last of his first half. “Apparently, you infuse the plant into the butter for better distribution, so you really shouldn’t taste it.”

“That makes sense,” she responded.

They all had conversation over the next half hour, mostly about classes and the mysterious Professor Byleth.

Edelgard felt it first. “I feel...dizzy.”

“Me too,” Dimitri agreed. Claude also assented.

“Well, here goes the next.” Claude ate his piece. The other two followed suit.

Now that both halves were in the stomachs of the three royals, the full effects had taken place. Claude started laughing after a few minutes.

“Ya know, hahaha, Teach sure has...” He made a motion around his chest. “Giant bazongas.”

“_Bazongas_?” Edelgard said incredulously. Dimitri hadn’t seen her so relaxed in such a long time. She was even giggling at Claude’s antics. “Haha, you’re not wrong.”

“Oh? Miss Adrestian Empire has a thing for our dear Teach?” Claude joked. Dimitri snorted.

Edelgard blushed. “N-not at all!”

“You’re lucky, Edie. You get her as your teacher. She’s so hot.” Claude had a wistful look on his face. “I’m gonna dance with her at the ball.”

“Oh? She doesn’t seem the type,” Dimitri mused. “It’ll be funny to see her dance, since she’s so stoic.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna make her shake that money maker,” Claude laughed again. The other two looked a bit confused, but laughed anyway.

“Why is it a money maker? What are you saying of our professor?” Edelgard giggled. Dimitri was glad she was enjoying herself. She was always so stiff.

“It’s a phrase, Edelgard. Nothing more! I’m not saying she’s got a nice ass or anything.” Claude set the trap.

“Uh, she definitely has a nice ass,” Edelgard said, falling for it. But Dimitri agreed. Double whammy.

“_Oh ho!_ So both of you have the hots for Teach.” Claude fell over, laughing hard. “Damn, maybe the entire student body is in love with her. We definitely say some things about her over at the Golden Deer classroom.”

“In front of Manuela?” Dimitri asked. “I’m sure she...doesn’t like that.”

“Oh no, she agrees! She sometimes starts it!” At that, Edelgard and Dimitri laughed even harder than Claude.

“Is she...gay?” Edelgard asked tentatively.

“Nope! She definitely likes men, but she says she isn’t afraid to say another woman is beautiful.”

“That sounds pretty gay to me,” Edelgard said, shrugging. “Well, takes one to know one.”

“Oh? Edie is actually gay?” Claude was enjoying this almost too much, but Dimitri looked at the both of them as they discussed sexuality and identities. For once, all was at peace. Even though nothing indicated the three territories had issues with each other, it was nice knowing that the three heirs apparent could get along swimmingly. Perhaps in the future, when the time to take their respective thrones occurred, delegations and negotiations would face a smooth process because of this friendship.

“Dimitri?” Said boy snapped back to reality, turning to Edelgard who spoke his name. “Are you alright?”

He nodded. “Just thinking is all. It’s...nice to have time like this. I feel like the future is in good hands.”

“In the hands of wayward teenagers eating pot brownies and talking about how hot the faculty is?” Claude chuckled. “Yeah, I guess stranger things have happened.”

Edelgard was silent at Claude’s thoughts. “Yes… The future will be in good hands.” She then changed the subject. “But Dimitri, you haven’t voiced your own thought on your identity. I just came out to Claude as bisexual, but what about you?”

Dimitri shrugged. “I like to think I can keep my options open for now.”

“Now what the fuck does that mean?” Claude questioned. “You’re a prince! Sure, you could probably marry whomever you want, but usually there are some limitations.”

“Well, what about you?” Dimitri returned. “I didn’t quite hear what your preference was.”

“Pfft, I’m easy,” was all Claude said and Edelgard and Dimitri shared a look. As far as non-answers go, that one was the most bizarre.

“Well, I’m sure you get around,” Dimitri said in return. Claude just guffawed at that.

“You bet! Flirting is what I do best!” He winked. “My charm is lethal.”

“Better than Sylvain’s at least,” Dimitri admitted. Edelgard nodded.

They were all silent a moment, taking in each other. Three teenagers, on the cusp of adulthood, was what they were. Experimenting with drugs like youth do, talking about their lives and hopes and dreams and people they liked. For once, they were normal kids, no royal blood getting in the way.

Edelgard then yawned. “I’m starting to feel sleepy,” she admitted.

“Yeah, I’ve got an exam tomorrow. Guess we should hit the hay.”

“Watch out for the guards patrolling. I’d hate for you both to get caught after curfew,” Dimitri warned.

Claude waved the thought aside. “Pfft, we’re just a few doors down, Dimitri! It’ll be fine.”

“Yes, it will be,” Edelgard said. “But for now, sleep. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

So Claude and Edelgard left Dimitri alone, nearly falling out the door as they made their way out, and as Dimitri undressed for bed, stumbling about because he was still high, he thought about how it would be great if they could do this every night. Sure, they’d all graduate, but for once, he wanted to live in the moment, not caring about the future.

But he knew, in the end, that it wouldn’t work like that. Duty calls, after all.

The high slowly fading, Dimitri fell into a deep slumber, dreaming of peaceful times with two people he so desperately wanted to call his friends.


End file.
